Whiskey & a Cigarette

5/15/2020
what I need is what I get
a bottle of whiskey & a cigarette
no regrets
let me forget
everything & just reset
as I sit at home
drunk all alone
wishing I were stoned
I moan & I groan
looking at all the shit that I own
it all means nothing
not a damn thing
like a pair of shoes
without the strings
so loose
they have no use
my feet are bruised
from all the abuse
all the walking
searching for an excuse
for why I am
the way I am
I don't understand
why I can't be happy
is happiness a sham
am I worth a damn
or maybe I'm just a damn fool
can't follow the rules
order & law
should have stayed in school
learned some tools
the world is cruel
beats down on those
with nothing to lose
why do I choose
to be this way
to stay this way
is it really that easy
to just smile one day
and to mean it
to really mean it
not the pretend shit
I put on display
I pray that I
will wake someday
and realize
all this was fake
all the sadness
the manic madness
just a story
in my brain
but now I sit
just afraid
afraid I'll always
be this way
that my darkest days
are on replay
over and over
groundhog's day
if every day
is like the next
I better settle in
and get some rest
the road will be long
without relent
my patience is bent
I need help; repent
but none of that matters
help won't be sent
so I sit at home
drunk all alone
no regrets
just let me forget
what I need is what I get
a bottle of whiskey & a cigarette