Papercuts

10/13/15
Surrounded by people
still alone
invisible
needing solitude
no joy in interaction
pulling teeth
a thousand paper cuts
each deeper than the last
unbearable lashing
pour salt on the wounds
soaking in blistering hot water
unable to escape
no drain in the tub
burning the flesh off my body
melting my bones
but a part of me enjoys it—needs it
can't get away from the pain—
I desire the pain.