I am the burden you’ve come to accept
A weight you shoulder as your own
You remind me of that time and time again
Reopening old wounds I long thought closed
My presence—alone—pollutes the air
With a thick layer of inadequacy
So dense and dangerous, you choke
On the simple breath I exhale
So I seclude myself in self-imposed exile
Tying my body to the mast of a ship
Setting sail away from the calm of the harbor
Convinced that isolation is selfless
A form of grace—a quiet mercy
To protect you from the storm I’ve become
Keeping you safe
From my violent, unpredictable swells
But I still hear your calls in the dead of night
Cutting through the thundering waves
A haunting reminder of the damage I left behind
I cannot sail far enough
To free you from drowning in my ruin
I am the anchor
And you still hold the chains