9/10/2018
I feel your bony, familiar fingers
tear at my chest
ripping my rib cage open
exposing my raw, beating heart
fingernails penetrate my chamber walls
until all hope bleeds out
your nails dance deeper
into my stomach
where you catch all the butterflies
flying with joy
squeeze them between your filthy fingers
until they are reduced to dust
only hollowness is left behind
into my lungs; I breathe you in
so you can pollute every inhale
with doubt and insecurity
allow me only to exhale
what little confidence and cheer remains
when you're had your fun
you leave me lying naked in my crimson bath
completely void of feeling
no sense of belonging
scared and utterly alone
some days I wish you would return to me
to have someone, anyone, in my life
knowing full well the damage you will deliver
you hold my hand and tell me lies so dark
they smother all light
at the end of the tunnel
together, alone, I have nothing
you have destroyed it all
in my darkest hour
I realize I've done this to myself
I have allowed it to happen
welcomed it
I deserve all misery my sins begot
I have nothing, now
I am nothing