it's understandable
how one could see
why i wallow in self-pity
how i struggle
to see
the entirety of me
when i look in the mirror
it couldn't be clearer
i see right through
all the holes you drew
and all i can see is you

the inscrutable gaze
upon your face
winning your grace
was always a maze
of turns
and burns
dead ends and yearns
for you to return
you think i’d learn
but no not me
i haven't learned
i'll never learn
to let this be

be what it is
what it was
what it was not
all this time
i foolishly thought
things would change
rearrange
begin a new chapter
start a new page
but pages are missing
torn out and blazed
i'm amazed
unfazed
reading chapters
out of place
pretending as if
there's nothing to blame
no one to blame
it's a damn shame
that i'm stuck in this game

to attain
refrain
from going insane
without the bane
of your unspeakable name
no shame in admitting
i need help
not tomorrow
today
its not the same
i need help today
but i'm afraid to say
so i keep at bay
what eats me up
feeds on my brain
widens these holes
deepens the stain

i need to let out
scream and shout
all that's stuck
behind walls of doubt
but i doubt you'd listen
i doubt you'd hear
cover your ears
does anyone care
that i'm still here
its clear
i fear
that you're still near
i leer for the me
of yesteryear
a man to revere

when i look in the mirror
my holes appear
they're all i can see
of what used to be me
sure that soon
i'll disappear
in the gaping space
i see your face
growing larger
i can almost taste
your fleeing haste

i hope one day
these burns will fade
these holes will fill
but that day
is not today
that day
i pray
is not far away
until then
when we meet again
i'll pretend
i'm not broken
that i'm not bent
these holes portend
that which we
can never mend
the story of my life
the end

Burn Holes